Chaos Jokes
Again, expect jokes about chaos, not by it...
Q: What is the difference between a law-court advocate and a vampire?
A: One is a soul-less bloodsucking fiend, and the other worships Vivamort as well.
A vampire Priestess of Vivamort was out walking the city streets late at
night, lost in thoughts of her dark plans and bloody ambitions. As was her
wont, she was accompanied by a pair of Initiates, who discreetly trailed
behind her.
Suddenly a drunken Mastakos charioteer came careening
around a corner behind them, recklessy driving his racing rig at full
speed down the darkened streets. Between his impaired state and the poor
visibility, he failed to see any of the black-clad figures in his road,
and promptly ran over the Initiates; who were trampled by the horses and
crushed by the wheels. The Priestess, warned by the cries of her minions,
barely leapt to safety. The charioteer sped heedlessly on, and was soon
lost to sight.
"Lunatic!' raged the Priestess to herself. "I could have
been revealed as Undead! Or at least my clothes would have been ruined!"
"Still," she thought, calming. "It could have been worse."
She surveyed the bodies of her Initiates.
"It just goes to show I should never go walking at night
without my reflectors..."
Three vampires were lounging around the Vivamort temple one evening,
each enjoying a 'snack'. Being on good terms with one another, each offered
to share...
The first offered his neighbour an Orlanthi captive.
"No, thanks," came the regretful reply. "I love the flavor,
but I'd be passing wind the rest of the night..."
In return, he offered up his victim, a Voria Initiate.
"No, thanks." the first vampire demurred. "Much too sweet
for my palate, and I prefer an older vintage..."
The third vampire, a Dwarf spoke up. "Would anyone like a
bite of my Green Elf?"
"No thanks!" came the immediate answer from both his friends.
One muttered to the other.
"Goddamn vegans..."
By John and Leanne
|
