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This topic contains 83 replies, has 16 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Jonathan Geere Jonathan Geere 3 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #6921
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator

    Maybe change ‘heroine’ to ‘Heroine’ on pages 12, 149 (x2), 283, 296, 488, 515, 521

    Maybe also worth changing hero to Hero on page 96 (x2: Arkat and Heynoona the Swimmer), 97, 127, 549, 646, 653, 658 (x2)

    Maybe also worth changing Hero to hero on page 561 to match up with the rest of the Guide

    #6926
    Profile photo of Roko Joko
    Roko Joko
    Spectator

    ^ Interesting… but I looked at some of those and don’t get it. May I interrupt this thread to ask what the editorial conventions for capitalizing the words hero and heroquest are?

    #6928
    Profile photo of Jamie Norrish
    Jamie Norrish
    Spectator

    p355: The entry for New Wyrmish is repetitive: “He is self-important and magically powerful, although not the great leader which he pretends to be. He is known to have extremely powerful magic, however.” The second sentence could just be removed, and “which” should be “that”.

    p376: The Seven Aspects of Arkat column is difficult to align with the picture. Peacemaker is described as having two right hands, and it looks as though several of the other descriptions are mirrored in terms of which hand is holding what.

    pp 354, 355 mentions Handra Liv in the context of a god. Is this meant to be introduced anywhere?

    #6934
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator
    Quote:
    Quote from Roko Joko on February 20, 2014, 00:12
    ^ Interesting… but I looked at some of those and don’t get it. May I interrupt this thread to ask what the editorial conventions for capitalizing the words hero and heroquest are?

    I agree. Going through the PDFs it got to the stage of just wanting at ask what the convention was when it appears that Hero(ine) is capitalised and used as a title and other times not capitalised but still apparent used as a title.

    #6935
    Profile photo of Robin Mitra
    Robin Mitra
    Spectator

    p. 535 “North of Jolar are the Mari Mountains, populated by a underground cities of vegetarian dwarves”
    p. 615 “The Sedalpists are a notably tolerant of different viewpoints.” Is a word missing?
    p. 617 “A successful invasion led by Faladje occupied many cities from 13221331 and provoked the Season Wars.” Should probably be “1322 to 1331”.

    #6936
    Profile photo of Scott Martin
    Scott Martin
    Spectator
    Quote:
    Quote from Roko Joko on February 20, 2014, 00:12
    ^ Interesting… but I looked at some of those and don’t get it. May I interrupt this thread to ask what the editorial conventions for capitalizing the words hero and heroquest are?

    A public Moon Design style guide would be a great and surprisingly non-time-wasting document to have before the next big drive for outside submissions. Not binding on fan work of course but it would also smooth future crowd-proofing campaigns.

    #6937
    Profile photo of Charles
    Charles
    Keymaster

    Page 512: Before the First Age, a dwarf innovator called Odendva GoldenDiamondDwarf the Heretic first tamed the native humans and taught them to work.

    GoldenDiamondDwarf missing spaces?

    Page 517: Teleono government rarely extends beyond the local clanvillage, which is overseen by an informal council of elders and anyone who can shout loud enough at the meeting.

    clanvillage missing space?

    Page 519: Threats and Milk Place (large city): This trading port among the Oranges is of Haragalan origin and was founded by a rivals of Iskisdar’s founders. It is ruled by Jojoami, a notorious pirate.

    ‘a rivals’ remove the ‘a ‘?

    Page 523: Old Vadeli Isles: Treecovered home of the preDawn race of Vadeli. Four races lived before the Darkness, but the first was decimated by the Brithini, Zzabur eliminated the second, and the third barely survived the horrors of history before finding relative peace during the Closing. The brownskinned folk that live here are a seagoing people whose round ships ply the seas everywhere.

    Treecovered; preDawn; brownskinned; seagoing; missing spaces?

    #6941
    Profile photo of Rick Meints
    Rick Meints
    Keymaster

    Other than the capital H, lowercase h debate, these are all dealt with.

    Thanks guys. If you want a style guide, please pester Jeff.

    #6942
    Profile photo of Scott Martin
    Scott Martin
    Spectator
    Quote:
    Quote from Charles Corrigan on February 20, 2014, 14:11
    Page 523: Old Vadeli Isles: Treecovered home of the preDawn race of Vadeli. Four races lived before the Darkness, but the first was decimated by the Brithini, Zzabur eliminated the second, and the third barely survived the horrors of history before finding relative peace during the Closing. The brownskinned folk that live here are a seagoing people whose round ships ply the seas everywhere.

    Looks like the Vadeli stripped a lot of Pamaltela’s former hyphens as well — 570 (manytrunked, multipurpose, riverbottom, damnmyluck, yearround, nonChaotic, middleaged), 571 (socalled, ageold), 576 (motherinlaw), 577 (longburning), 584 (thirdhand), 594 (kinbased but nowhere else?), 595-6 (several Elamleata, elfqueen, maneating), 599 (some survive but the ones in Jolin, Hahl and maybe Farnwith are gone), 600 (twopound, Elamleata, lifesized, elfqueen), 601 (3footdiameter) 614 (moreorless but other hyphenation seems to have survived), 616 (the already-caught elfled) 617 (drugridden, stormworshipping, the already-caught 13221331), 618 (violetskinned merking, seametal), possibly other places.

    I know you guys love your hyphens so I wonder if we can systematically recover them without doing line checks. Vadeli scum!

    #6943
    Profile photo of Scott Martin
    Scott Martin
    Spectator

    Found a systematic solution so let’s quest for every last tapped hyphen!

    Starting in the islands and will work around:

    JRUSTELA: OneTime, brownskinned, newlyopened (498)

    KUMANKU: Pseudomoieties, Eveningtimers, Twilightbeings, islandwide, noncult, worldshaking (507) and I think you guys prefer “Day-timers” (507) and “Night-placers” (507, 8).

    LORAL: Longextinct.

    SLON: Charles grabbed a lot of these and the rest is largely impervious. The glitch did produce wellknown, earthbased (512) and then Porlaso Yoma has lost its “coast-hugging” (515) but that might just be you guys changing things up.

    TELEOS: Charles grabbed one already and also doublehulled on 519, and isn’t that tribal map splendid!

    THE VADELI: Charles got a bunch here. You guys might prefer “ocean-going” on 522 and then “sea-going,” “monster-filled” “ghost-ships” on 523.

    VORMAIN: Mostly invulnerable but the Invisible Tanisorian brings corruption in “twentysix” (527) while the savages on Desolation Island are “well-armed” (530).

    Onward!

    #6944
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator

    Page 541. Change
    Wiremwazi:
    to
    Wiremwazi (ruin):

    #6949
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator

    Not sure why these are missed (intentional or not) but maybe add (ruin) to

    Page 356 Babston: change to Babston (ruin): and the same for:
    Page 372 Senbar:
    Page 383 Hrelar Amali:
    Page 408 Change Basmol Ruins: to Basmol (ruin): as per the map

    Not sure but maybe just leave the Jrusteli ruins out of this, if not then…
    Page 502: Arshu Phola:, Aurelion’s Breakwater:, Damolsket:, Eradinthanos:, Evrowal: Frowalkel:,
    Page 503: Hathinelthor: Hredmorinos: Hungpu: Irenstos: Jalanswal: Orphalsketkel: Peresk: Piskosol: Shenilstos: Svalwal:

    NB Aurelion’s Breakwater does not appear on the map off the island of Gothalos

    Other errors
    Old Vadel (ruin): on page 208 but Old Valdeli City on the maps
    Tarnwall (large city): on Page 209 but Ta_m_well on the maps

    #6950
    Profile photo of Scott Martin
    Scott Martin
    Spectator

    Hyphenquest:

    MANIRIA: All hyphens preserved!

    PENT: All hyphens preserved! But do you want “-grass” constructions to hyphenate, close up or be two words? (Compare H’har as Jing, Hurran Bor, Kargano Bor p. 372.)

    RALIOS: All hyphens preserved! If anything, “man-of-all” might have one hyphen too many on p. 373 and you might prefer “fish-skin-wearing” (two hyphens) on p. 385 and “seventy-five-year” on p. 386

    SESHNELA: Hyphens are safe but perversely would you prefer “four-times-removed-great-grandson” (p. 408) or “thirty-foot-tall” (p. 409)?

    TESHNOS: Hyphens safe and p. 422 is super-awesome. This is why these books exist!
    — not checking rigorously elsewhere but p. 430 should be Diamond “Mountain”

    THE WASTES: Jaldon lost his hyphens! threebladed, oddlyshaped (p. 437)
    — “God-Learners” still hyphenated once p. 451, modern style two words

    Once we cross the water, the curse begins to take hold…

    THE OCEANS: krillrich (455) doublehulled (456) longdead, highprowed (460)

    THE ISLANDS: mediumsized, littleknown, smallsized, deepsea, widelyknown, socalled, (465) saucerlike (466)
    — you guys originally had “turtle-worshipping” as well on 466, just flagging it here

    EAST ISLANDS: you guys originally had “sea-going” (468) and “co-exist” (469) but might have changed your mind. Also: brightlydecorated (470) lowlying (472)
    — not “three-way” (471) or “purple-skinned” (476) or “high-quality” (479) or “twenty-five” (493)? All are two words at present.

    [confirming Pamaltelan hyphenation tomorrow]

    #6951
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator

    Page 408 Baustin: Ruin… change to Baustin (ruin): Ruin… But given the lack of space for extra text may be have…. Baustin (ruin): The remains of an ancient city that was destroyed…

    Page 589 Change Amontane:… to Amontane (ruin):
    Page 599 Change Farnwith: to Farnwith (ruin):

    General note: Some places with ‘Ruin’ in the name have (ruin) added afterwards but some don’t. Hence on Page 530 you have Golden Ruins (ruin): These submerged ruins… but on Page 447 you have Monkey Ruins: These are the ruins….
    Those without the extra (ruin) include:
    Page 416 Red Ruins:
    Page 447 Monkey Ruins:
    Page 452 Sog’s Ruins:

    Page 536 has “In addition to divine and sorcerous magic, the Kimotians, both human and Gorger, practice…” but in the same and in the next paragraph the term ‘Kimotians’ is used to exclusively refer to humans. Please consider a change in the text to clarify the term ‘Kimotians’.

    #6952
    Profile photo of Jonathan Geere
    Jonathan Geere
    Spectator

    More suggestions:
    Page 445 (side panel) change oasis people to Oasis People
    Page 446 change Oasis people to Oasis People
    Page 447 change Oasis Folk to Oasis People
    Page 571 Hosfori in the Guide but Hos_o_fori on the Guide’s map
    Page 604 Bautan River: in the Guide but River Bautan on the Guide’s map

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