April 8, 2014 at 3:11 pm #5384
Last minute suggestions were asked to be posted in these forums. And I’m somewhat embarrassed by doing so, I haven’t been involved in this great Gloranthan project apart from offering some support initially in the kick starter. A great deal of work and a great job done.
That said, this quester of Chalana Arroy suggests….
Religion and Magic
Mythology and Religion
“The major deities are:” … (excluding Chalana Arroy) ” Minor Deities!”.
This is of course an error, since Chalana Arroy is one of the most important dieties having saved the world. This Gloranthan God Learner Correctness writer suggests the wording here and only for this pantheon should be. The dieties most often worshipped are: (instead of “The major deities are:”) …. “Less Worshipped Deities.” (instead of “Minor Dieties:”) ….
This extension of the sentence will cause an extra line to be added on p37 but this will then remove one line of blank of space at the bottom of the 1st column of page 38 making the book look prettier!
“Though inured to death, the Storm Age was shocked the way the Golden Age had been shocked. ” Reading this sentence had me do a double take.
The above sentence does not read well the first time starting with ” Though inured”, before the subject, and then double use of the word shocked with was and then had been.
Maybe I am just having trouble with “An age of the world” being inured to death, but it reads better with the subject stated first so you already know what was inured before having been told something is inured, and left wondering to read further what had gotten accustomed to death. It does read better the second time you read it, but then it does have to be read the second time. My offering:-
The Storm Age, though inured to death, was shocked as had been the Golden Age.
The Final Battle of Mortality p121 Part of the Original Storm Bull myth was that Storm Bull had an association with Chalana Arroy
Storm Bull was injured badly in the battle but Chalana Arroy subsequently healed him.
Hoping this post is subsequently deleted! But I would feel remiss if I had not posted. And as said, a labour of love and it shows.
B.April 8, 2014 at 3:13 pm #7458
Chalana Arroy is of cosmic importance, but she is a minor deity in most human cultures.
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